Detention...

Mmmkay... So I just watched a film called Detention. I am going to describe this as best I can in a limited amount of words.

Let me start by saying, never before in my life, have I seen a film that has had this much of an impact on me. Don't take that as a good thing or a bad thing... it's just a thing. It had a plot... I think. Like, I followed it all the way through. It wasn't boring... it also wasn't purple.
The only way to describe this film is with ridiculous analogies  of what it is like. For example:

It was like watching an anaconda make mushroom pancakes.
It was like fisting a dugong.
It was like being brought to orgasm by slapping bedsheets.
If Oasis (the band) and every mythical creature you have ever heard of had a baby, it wouldn't be too dissimilar to this film.
It was like a plectrum cramp.

I could go on like this all night... because it was just that weird. I spent the first half hour after watching it only being able to mutter the syllables "I just... I just..."

I hated it... and loved it. It was both the best and worst piece of film I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure I laughed at a couple of points, but it has left me questioning everything. Not just everything in the film, everything in the universe. I think that this film is the opposite of everything.

The best way to describe it is simply "Schrodinger's Film"; until you have evidence to the contrary, it is both the best film and the worst film in existence.

The only thing I know for certain and can say with 98% clarity is this:
I watched the film Detention...


But did I really?
Let me know if you have seen it and what you thought. I would be interested to hear whether my opinions on the matter differ from yours.