Gamers anonymous

3 weeks. It's been 3 weeks since my last blog. I apologise to all of my loyal follower for taking this long to update you with the details of my not-so-interesting life. In the last 3 weeks I have moved house. I know it's not a huge thing but I feel better overall about everything. I have moved close to town; it takes me exactly 5 minutes from my front lawn to the front door of my workplace in the main street of town. And that's waiting for lights.

I am a gamer. I admit it. I have an Xbox, a PC (obviously), a gameboy, a Wii and a DSi. I'm a geek. I bet you wouldn't have guessed that :) I am proud of my gaming but there is something that annoys me about gamers nowadays. They have no sense of heritage when it comes to the games they play. I know the vast majority of these people weren't born when the good stuff started coming out, hell I was barely here. Even so, gamers of the world... Look back at the games that have come and gone with fondness. Don't look at them and say "Shit graphics" or "Man this game has no plot" At the time these games were produced, they were the pinnacle of gaming. If it weren't for those games, your current beloved games wouldn't exist.

My first console was a Sega Megadrive. That's right... I'm not ashamed. I used to spend hours playing Sonic and Mortal Kombat. you know why? Because they were awesome. As I grew up I discovered PC gaming and everything that went with it. My friends had N64s and PS1, I had my PC. And you know what? I could play all of their games and more because I had emulators. Mario Kart was my favourite. But nothing beats having something in you hand to play with... a controller I mean.

Then, I discovered my one true love... Xbox. The graphics, the plot-lines, the humour. These games are more than I could ever have dreamed of when I was 10. There is something to be said for gaming, and that is this: When you pick up a controller, it's like picking up a book, but better. you get to know the characters in person, you get to progress through a tale of happiness, sadness, you'll laugh, you'll cry. Here is why it's better. You are controlling the actions. The story has been written and re-written to incorporate all of the things you may want to do, and that means it's all-interactive. So to all of those people who say "Turn off the TV and pick up a book" I ask you why? Why would you read when there is an interactive story at your fingertips? I mean I'm not saying i don't like reading, I just get more out of gaming.

So, rant being over, I would like to thank the following people: Darth Vader, for teaching us that people are not always what you expect them to be, Justin Bieber, for teaching us that we can all unite against a common enemy and lastly, Lester & Derby, for teaching us... well nothing... but at least they are funny about it.

Check them out at www.facebook.com/lesterderby or at their Twitter lesterderby.twitter.com
These thoughts have come straight from my mind, to this page so, technically, you have just read my mind. You freak!!

Sticks and stones can break my bones but cigarette cabinets work better

Broken bones hurt. I have broken my fair share of bones but if there is one bone in your body that is the most inconvenient I would have to say that it is any of your fingers. I currently have a broken pinky on my right hand and yes, it hurts, but it's more annoying than anything. I can't type properly, I can't lift things... showering takes so much longer. But the worst thing about a broken finger is that you are just slightly incapable.

You can still write, type, walk, speak, move around, dance and many other things, they just happen more slowly. You can even work!! I mean, if I'm going to break any bone, let it be something that gets me some time off. Now I just end up at work, in pain, getting things done at a snails pace. It would just be so much easier to have the damn thing taken off!! At least then it wouldn't get caught on things and hurt like hell.

Getting caught on things is the worst. I have my finger splinted which keeps it (mostly) in the one position but now I have to contend with having this huge lump surrounding my finger... which just makes it an easier target for all those annoying things that you normally wouldn't think about. Pockets, towels, doorframes, your ear as you run your fingers through your hair, the list is endless. And when it happens, you just feel like you've broken it all over again!!

I must say, the most painful bone that I have broken is a rib. Unlike fingers which you can just strap up and not use for 6 weeks, your ribs are in constant use. Breathing, laughing, coughing, you can't escape it. So what did I do when I had broken ribs? I went to the doctor to get some pain medication. Now the side-effects of Tramydol are numerous so I won't go in to too much detail but among the hallucinations and headaches is a little thing called nausea. What does nausea cause? Vomiting. At 3 o clock in the morning, on my hands and knees heaving over a garden bed I had to weigh up my choices. Continue on the drugs and possibly break more ribs (or so it felt like) or just deal with the pain? Pretty easy choice.

That's my spiel for the evening. Don't forget to check out my web-comic www.facebook.com/lesterderby or http://lesterderby.tumblr.com

Where do you fall?

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most awesome you can be and 1 being the least, I would have to say I am approximately a 5. Here is my list of awesomeness:
10 - That really cool guy. We all know one guy who is just cool. He is that guy that all the guys want to be and all the girls want to be with. He isn't necessarily the stereotypical quarter-back type. He can just be that guy who has confidence and is outgoing.
9 - That guy's best friend.
8 - The guy with the contacts. This guy is only cool by association. He knows everyone and can get just about anything.
7 - He is the lowest rank on the sports team. He's the one that all the other sports guys pick on, but he's still in their group.
6 - This is the guy is one of the skaters. He is the skater that isn't ratty. He's the skater that everybody knows but you don't hear anything bad about him.
5 - The nerds. These are the guys that don't become cool until later. You associate with them because they get good grades and can help you out with your computer.
4 - The guys that think they're cool. These guys look at the coolest guys and say those guys just wish they were like us 
3 - Now three is an interesting character. He can come out with something funny from time to time but mostly he's just awkward. he always has a group of friends that don't particularly want to hang out with him.
2 - This guy was the guy who hung out with staff. He was the teacher's pet. No one likes this guy because he's really just a kiss arse.
1 - Your mum

So that is my list of awesomeness. Work out where you fall. Have a serious think about it though because I would like to put myself up near the top somewhere but really, like I say, I'm a 5.

Geeks aren't cool. We're not. I'm not one of those geeks that has a huge collection of some weird trading card game... or at least if I do, I don't play with them anymore. I'm one of those geeks that's into technology and comedy and all that medium-cool stuff.

So that's my ramble for today, hope you've enjoyed it. Don't forget to check out my web comic www.facebook.com/lesterderby or www.lesterderby.tumblr.com

Bank error in your favour

So here we are at the end of another financial year, asking the important questions. If you suddenly found a couple of million dollars in your account, what would you do with it? You want to hear my thoughts on the topic? Naw, you're so sweet. I'll tell you then.

If I suddenly found myself slapped with more hundys than days in a decade I would have to say that I would go shopping. People say that money can't make you happy, but I beg to differ. If I had that much money, I would be happy. Now I know most of you are sitting there thinking Man is that dude superficial or what? Well the answer is, yes I kinda am. I'm sorry but if someone came to me and said "Hey, you know what? I am going to solve the vast majority of your problems by fixing up your financial state" I would have to go "Tits yeah!!!" Let's face it, we all want to not have to think about money. I wouldn't spend it all right away of course. I would go and buy myself some serious suits (because that's all that rich dudes wear) and some new socks and undies. You never realise how much socks and undies cost until you have none and have to fork out 30 bucks just to keep from commando-ing for the next two days.

I know people say "I would donate most of it to charity" But to me, that just sounds like you can't think of what to spend it on. I would rather have some sort of high interest trust fund from which a certain amount is deducted every week to pay charities. And here you were thinking that I wouldn't give anything back. But I would have to set myself up. That money would run out eventually and if I had spent it all, I would have next to nothing to show for it. So high interest accounts and investment properties would be the first on my list, after shopping for clothes of course. The next thing would be to set up my family. Mortgages paid and houses bought, leaving them in a good financial position as well. That way everyone is happy.

My mind would then wander. What else can I spend this money on? Well useless crap aside (nerfs and what not) I would have to look into the things I have been wanting to do. A new computer for my writing and photo editing, a new tv for size, the newest phone to keep up with the Joneses (a saying which always made me feel special). I think the vast majority of my money would have to be ear-marked for my sons future. Trust funds and schooling funds. I mean, ultimately, isn't providing for your family better than anything else (apart from nerfs?)

Remember to check out my web comic at www.facebook.com/lesterderby or www.lesterderby.tumblr.com

The lover you know

Would you do you? If there was a you clone, would you jump that train? I know that this is all very strange and I bet you're sitting there thinking Hey this is all very strange. Well the fact is, it is. But it's one of those important questions in life that needs to be answered. We love ourselves. There is no point denying it. The theory of fight or flight works for that very reason. If there was a car coming towards you, you would jump out of the way because you value your life and your self. So the short answer is yes, you would do you.

The real question is, would you be in a relationship with you. Let's just say for a minute that being gay or straight doesn't matter (hey let's say that that's always the case) could you be in a relationship with you? I have had some time to think about this. Don't ask me why, it's just one of those Gareth's brain things. I don't know that I could be in a relationship with me. I think that my personality would clash. I pride myself on my sense of humour. Even when no one else is laughing, I still find it funny. It's not arrogant, my jokes are for me. If other people like them, that's great too. But I don't think I could be around a guy who thinks he's funnier than I am.

That's why I would find it so hard to be an identical twin. They are one person in two bodies...what? That's not right you say? All I'm saying is that when I look back over memories in photographs I want to know that it was actually me standing there, not some weird guy just like me but with a different name. Ok... now I'm just starting to sound weird. My bad.

I could never be with myself. Who would complete me? Who would make up for my downfalls? I am who I am because of the person I am with. If  were just with me, I would just be me. That's why I thank my lucky stars (oh yes, I have lucky stars) that I have found the one person on earth that can be more than just a companion. I have found that person who makes me, us.

Don't forget to check out my web comic www.facebook.com/lesterderby www.lesterderby.tumblr.com

I am at work. On the plus side, my boss doesn't really care. As long as I get done what he asks, I am free to do whatever else I please. So that's exactly what I'm doing :)

I was thinking about global warming today, and what it might mean for me, and I'm pretty sure I have nutted it out. Not much. I try and make a conscious effort to avoid polluting and making the issue any worse wherever I can but the fact is, by the time it has become bad enough to cause me issue, I will be long gone. I am by no means suggesting that I'm gonna go and grab an aerosol can in one hand and a fridge in the other and 'go crazy' but I am saying that I think I have worked out why people are so complacent about the topic. People are reactive. Unless something affects them directly, they don't care.

I was in a supermarket complex a while back and I was standing about thirty metres away from a woman in a wheelchair. I wasn't just standing there staring at her or anything but out of the corner of my eye I saw her tumble out of her chair and onto the floor. I believe that her carer was in a shop at the time and therefore didn't see it happen. As I rushed forward to help her I actually watched people look at her and keep walking, if anything moving away from her. By the time I arrived an older man and a middle aged woman (who could have been this lady's carer) had already helped her back into her chair. I asked if she was alright, and if there was anything that I could help with. If I was in that position I would hope that people would do the same thing. But they don't. I was disgusted at how many people looked at this poor woman and just walked on by. I am not saying that this woman was incapable of helping herself but if someone who wasn't in a wheelchair fell over, they could still use a hand to get back up, and that's with the use of their legs.

All I am trying to say is maybe we should all just look up once in a while and help out those people that may have tripped up along the way. Also, don't just assume that because it doesn't affect you, that you aren't part of it, because you are. Worst case scenario, if you don't believe in global warming, would it hurt you to humour the rest of us and just be careful of the unneccessary?

I've had my rant, I'm going to pack up and go home. As always, thanks for reading my Blog and don't forget to check out my comic strip at www.facebook.com/lesterderby

Geeky and Dangerous: The Beginning

I know you are all sitting there thinking who is this geeky guy who is also dangerous and why would we want to hear anything he has to say. Well pipe down, I am getting to that.

I figured Hey, everyone else is blogging, why aren't I? I'll tell you why I aren't... It's because until this point, I had never really thought about it. Plain and simple. But now that I have, I would like to welcome you to my new blog. Hi, how are ya? I'm Gareth, and I'm a born again Blogstian (one who believes in Blog) also known as a Bloghist, a Blogthiest and Bloguism. Anyway, here I am, posting my first Blog, in my entire life.

You may have noticed that I am capitalising my Blog. Well done, that was quite a minute detail of this Blog thus far and you should be proud that you attention to detail is so astute that you were able to pick up on it. A warm and hearty pat on the back to you sir or madam. The reason that my Blog has a big ol' B in front of it is because I am using it as a proper noun rather than just a regular noun. In my opinion it will make the word feel more special about itself.

At this stage in my blog I have not actually given you anything relevant to help you out with day to day life, or even just to take away from this thinking You know what? He was right! That is intentional. I have logged into the Blogosphere to allow people an insight into my life, my brain but also to have a bit of a ramble. If you read it and enjoy it, that's great. If not, hey I'm sure there is a nice blog somewhere on puppies that you might find interesting.

Oh... I almost forgot... for those of you who have found my Blog and it has been a while since this particular one was posted... I am from the past... heed my warning... We still believe that there is a reason that Aeroplanes, though all they are is tons of metal and luggage, should stay in the air.

I'll catch you on the flip-side y'all... unless, as I mentioned before, you're from the future in which case Look Behind You!!!


Check out the Facebook page for my comic strip at www.facebook.com/lesterderby