New and Improved!

Ladies and Gentlemen!

Boys and Girls!

Welcome to my blog. For those of you who don't know me; my name is Gareth and I run the YouTube channel Geeky and Dangerous. On that YouTube channel, you will find some musical covers of popular songs, some of my own original songs, The Geeky and Dangerous Weekly Show; my YouTube show that I have had so much fun with and expect to be starting up again soon, as well as some other bits and pieces.

I have had this blog for a very long time and really haven't used it to it's full potential of late. I am on a fairly regular schedule of uploading once every two years or so, but I am thinking that I could maybe increase that. The great thing about it is that I can only move upwards from here surely? I am hoping to start using this blog as a place to post the weird things my kids say, the day to day stories of my life, the happies, the sads, the in-betweens of my ups and downs. I am also wanting to use this space as an airing space for my channel ideas, so for my hardcore fans reading this... prepare to be in the loop!

Crazy things happen in people's lives and none so crazy as the big life changes that we all go through. Separations, new relationships, kids, money, cars and houses etc. I feel like I have done it all, and by the age of 27! I am finally in a place in my life now where I feel like I am picking my mental state back up from where it has been strewn about the place over the last 10 years, and I can say that all of those things have happened throughout that time. My ex partner, Leine and I have had some ups and downs, but we are in a wonderful place at the moment and I really love that! My kids are incredible... annoying at times, but the most compassionate, adorable, funny little dudes I could have possibly hoped for. I find myself laughing to excess every single day and I have, among other things, my wife, my sister and my brother-in-law to thank for that. They are all so funny and such huge anchor points in my life.

I have finally sold a house and now live in a rental property that I love. I have bought the things I have been working towards for years; a new car, a computer, a virtual reality headset. I know that money can't make you happy, but I'll tell you now... it sure can fix financial despair!

Now the stuff I know you have been waiting for... My channel! Things that I would like to do on my channel: 

• More videos with my kids
• More Weekly Show
• I would like to challenge myself to upload a video a day for a couple of weeks (rather, I have been challenged to do this by a friend) 
• I have created a new channel called Geeky and Dangerous Games that I would like to start doing some Let's Play videos on

These are the wonderful things that I hopefully have in store over the coming months.

And with all of that, I have nothing more to say this evening. I will be back on here to ramble about some other things soon. Until then, check out this video:

My mandatory yearly blog

With a child aging, comes the greatest thing in life... Hilarious things that children say.
My partner and I, before Christmas, decided that we were going to get my oldest (the parrot) to give us his interpretation of the 12 days of christmas... this is what we got:

12 Tiny pupils
11 Sofle piping       
10 Sores a leaving
1 Wadeys dancing       
8 eggs a winning
7 Wands a winning
6 Geese Elaine

2 GOLDEN RINGSSSSSS

4 Horny birds
3 Fresh horns
2 Turtle Gloves
And a partridge in the pantry

For more of his lovely little treasures, keep your eyes on this space.

Detention...

Mmmkay... So I just watched a film called Detention. I am going to describe this as best I can in a limited amount of words.

Let me start by saying, never before in my life, have I seen a film that has had this much of an impact on me. Don't take that as a good thing or a bad thing... it's just a thing. It had a plot... I think. Like, I followed it all the way through. It wasn't boring... it also wasn't purple.
The only way to describe this film is with ridiculous analogies  of what it is like. For example:

It was like watching an anaconda make mushroom pancakes.
It was like fisting a dugong.
It was like being brought to orgasm by slapping bedsheets.
If Oasis (the band) and every mythical creature you have ever heard of had a baby, it wouldn't be too dissimilar to this film.
It was like a plectrum cramp.

I could go on like this all night... because it was just that weird. I spent the first half hour after watching it only being able to mutter the syllables "I just... I just..."

I hated it... and loved it. It was both the best and worst piece of film I have ever seen. I'm pretty sure I laughed at a couple of points, but it has left me questioning everything. Not just everything in the film, everything in the universe. I think that this film is the opposite of everything.

The best way to describe it is simply "Schrodinger's Film"; until you have evidence to the contrary, it is both the best film and the worst film in existence.

The only thing I know for certain and can say with 98% clarity is this:
I watched the film Detention...


But did I really?
Let me know if you have seen it and what you thought. I would be interested to hear whether my opinions on the matter differ from yours.

Two in one Night?!?!

So I thought I would share one of my short stories as well while we're in a bloggy mood (bloggy? Bloggish? Bloggable? I don't know which is right)

This was a story I wrote for my writing course... interpret it as you will :)

                ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dark Cover of Night

I walked into the darkened room and felt a chill. This just doesn’t feel right, I thought. I turned on the light and set my coat down on the bed. She followed me into the room and took off her red high heels. I closed the door and drew the curtains. I couldn’t afford for anyone to see this.

“I’m just going to go and freshen up” she told me. I nodded and moved toward the counter.

“Can I get you a drink?” I called out to her.

“Sure, I’ll have a scotch… On the rocks” She added, as an afterthought.

I poured myself a whiskey, neat as always, and prepared her drink. By the time I had finished she was back in the main room. She was looking at me seductively as I set her drink down at the small table by the window. I sat in one of the chairs and surveyed her carefully. As she brushed her mid-length blond hair over one shoulder I noticed a tattoo on her right shoulder.

“What’s your tattoo of?” I asked, to which she blushed.

“It’s just a silly thing I got a couple of years ago. My boyfriend paid for it for my 18^th birthday”

I stood up and moved towards her. She breathed in as I moved her hair out of the way to get a closer look. The tattoo was of a dolphin leaping from the water surrounded by a rainbow. I smiled at her.

“It’s beautiful” I said.

“It’s stupid” She turned away to hide her ever-reddening cheeks. I laughed.

“Stupid? No. I once went to a tattoo artist to get a beautiful Latin phrase” I pulled up my shirt to reveal, in large bold text on my right side:

“Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est”

“I was told that it means ‘With more love; more life’”

“That’s beautiful” She said with a smile

“I should have done more research.” I said as I pulled my shirt back down and sat by the window “It actually reads ‘Yes, that is a very large amount of corn’”

Her tiny laugh seemed to fill the apartment and illustrated to me just how young she was.

“So does your wife know you’re here?” She asked, sitting in the chair opposite me and taking a sip of her drink.

“It would break her heart… So given our track record, she probably does” I finished with a smile.

We sat in something of an awkward silence for a few minutes, drinking our drinks in turn. I think she was just waiting for me to do something, but I had no idea what was appropriate. A hug? A Kiss? I decided that maybe I would need another drink and made for the counter again.

“So what do you do?” She asked, almost as if to break the tension.

“Actually I’m in politics…” I trailed off, knowing that I had to as for her discretion, but not wanting to.

“I won’t tell anyone about this” She said with a compassionately, as though she had heard my thoughts.

“Thanks” I finished pouring my drink and sat back down. She stood up and went to her handbag. She reached her painted nail fingers into her purse and pulled out a slip of paper. ‘Oh god’ I thought ‘She’s going to ask for money’ She walked over to me and handed me the slip. I didn’t want to look at the slip as I was afraid of how much she would ask for. She stared at me, an intense stare. I was forced to look down just from not wanting to look into those suddenly demanding eyes. I was surprised to see that I was holding a picture in my hands.

She sat down on the arm of my chair and rubbed my back.

“Do you remember the summer that was taken?”

“Like it was yesterday” I told her with my hand on her knee and a huge smile.

                ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you enjoyed it :)... and if you didn't, let me know what you did think :)

I hear the sleigh bells ringing... quietly :-P

My New Year's Resolution:
To write this blog more!!

So it's been another 8 months since my last post (a fact for which I do not feel guilty, as my follower knows pretty much everything that has gone on in my life).

I feel like Christmas just isn't as cool when you're an adult. But the problem is, you get no warning. It's very subtle but as you move through your teenage years and into your twenties it just loses something. This year the lead up to Christmas has been kinda shit, I'm gonna be honest. I have lost my job and and things are just a little more difficult than usual.

Christmas should be a magical time of the year, full of family, laughter and Joy. I just feel like it's easier to enjoy Christmas when you are a kid and have no responsibilities, and you can just focus on the getting and receiving of presents ;)

All of that being said, I love Christmas. Christmas in Australia is hot. Today was 42 degrees Celsius which, I think you'll find, is about 504,000 degrees Fahrenheit (correct me if I'm wrong). I spent my day roller blading and playing laser tag in a giant shed. I know that might not sound that great on a day as hot as it has been, but I love sweating. I enjoy the feeling. It cools me down in a way that nothing else can. Plus, hey, decent workout.

It has occurred to me that these ramblings are not overly well formed and, so, I add to my New Year's Resolution a promise of more organised thoughts and... hey look a fluffy bunny!!!

HAVE A SAFE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND A WONDERFULLY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Straight up zombie rap...

ZOMBIES!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!

When the zombie apocalypse starts, about 67% of the world will be eaten. Plain and simple. You know who those people are? They are the people who have never even slightly bent to the idea that there is a possibility that a Zombie apocalypse might start. They are too scared to see themselves as awesome zombie hunters and prefer to see themselves as "mature adults"

Well to those people, I poke out my tongue at you and go "ner ner ni ner ner."
People need to realise that the zombie apocalypse is now, more than ever, a medium to highly likely occurrence in our lifetime. I tell people this and they're like "get out of town" and I just tell them I will... when the time comes. But the reason it is so much more likely now is because we have people like me (but much smarter) thinking to themselves "I really want to see a zombie apocalypse in my life... I'm going to create a virus..."

Did you know that the Pentagon has a zombie survival plan? That's right, the most organised disaster team in the world (probably) has planned for impending walkers... and I can guarantee their plan won't include getting you to a safe area. Especoally people like me... who live in Australia.
All I'm saying is be prepared... then you could be in the 33% of us that survive.

Anyway, enough from me... how are you?

Gamers anonymous

3 weeks. It's been 3 weeks since my last blog. I apologise to all of my loyal follower for taking this long to update you with the details of my not-so-interesting life. In the last 3 weeks I have moved house. I know it's not a huge thing but I feel better overall about everything. I have moved close to town; it takes me exactly 5 minutes from my front lawn to the front door of my workplace in the main street of town. And that's waiting for lights.

I am a gamer. I admit it. I have an Xbox, a PC (obviously), a gameboy, a Wii and a DSi. I'm a geek. I bet you wouldn't have guessed that :) I am proud of my gaming but there is something that annoys me about gamers nowadays. They have no sense of heritage when it comes to the games they play. I know the vast majority of these people weren't born when the good stuff started coming out, hell I was barely here. Even so, gamers of the world... Look back at the games that have come and gone with fondness. Don't look at them and say "Shit graphics" or "Man this game has no plot" At the time these games were produced, they were the pinnacle of gaming. If it weren't for those games, your current beloved games wouldn't exist.

My first console was a Sega Megadrive. That's right... I'm not ashamed. I used to spend hours playing Sonic and Mortal Kombat. you know why? Because they were awesome. As I grew up I discovered PC gaming and everything that went with it. My friends had N64s and PS1, I had my PC. And you know what? I could play all of their games and more because I had emulators. Mario Kart was my favourite. But nothing beats having something in you hand to play with... a controller I mean.

Then, I discovered my one true love... Xbox. The graphics, the plot-lines, the humour. These games are more than I could ever have dreamed of when I was 10. There is something to be said for gaming, and that is this: When you pick up a controller, it's like picking up a book, but better. you get to know the characters in person, you get to progress through a tale of happiness, sadness, you'll laugh, you'll cry. Here is why it's better. You are controlling the actions. The story has been written and re-written to incorporate all of the things you may want to do, and that means it's all-interactive. So to all of those people who say "Turn off the TV and pick up a book" I ask you why? Why would you read when there is an interactive story at your fingertips? I mean I'm not saying i don't like reading, I just get more out of gaming.

So, rant being over, I would like to thank the following people: Darth Vader, for teaching us that people are not always what you expect them to be, Justin Bieber, for teaching us that we can all unite against a common enemy and lastly, Lester & Derby, for teaching us... well nothing... but at least they are funny about it.

Check them out at www.facebook.com/lesterderby or at their Twitter lesterderby.twitter.com
These thoughts have come straight from my mind, to this page so, technically, you have just read my mind. You freak!!